Old Friend

Dear Old Friend,

It wasn’t that long ago we were gossiping in the halls and passing notes about the boys we liked in our class. Even though some of these moments feel like yesterday, high school has long since passed and things have changed for the both of us.

We lost touch, as so many do, and continued on our own unique paths. I went off to college in a different state. I did hear that you had a child a few years after graduation and from afar I always wished you the best.

Fast forward fourteen years later and here we are. I was so happy to connect with you on Facebook. What a great way to see how each other’s life has turned out. Also,it was a great way to show support to one another, since we are both moms now. I “liked” your pictures and posts frequently. I even hoped possibly we could meet up and have coffee at some point once things weren’t so hectic with your new addition and my second on the way.

Imagine how confused I was when I no longer saw your Facebook feed. It took me awhile to notice due to my own hectic life, so I’m not sure when it was you decided that reconnecting was a bad idea. I mean in high school we had a blast and now that I moved back to the area and had children similarly in age to yours I thought maybe we could finally meet up.

How wrong was I? Now that I look back I know why you no longer wanted to be friendly. You were judging me from afar. While I “liked” your posts and pictures, you were simply passing judgement. It’s funny I never thought ill of you or judged you for having a child before finding a husband. Clearly you were making decisions about my character because I married a woman. I do recall “red flag” posts on your Facebook page that were so far right wing I thought maybe they were posted by mistake. I didn’t think too much about it because I do not judge people according to politics, their beliefs or even whom they marry. I don’t find it difficult to separate one from the other but I know I’m not the norm.

This has upset me, not because we won’t get that coffee, but you have children that are at an impressionable age and I wonder what you will tell them when they see a family that doesn’t look like theirs. Is it wrong to have two mommies or two daddies? What about the families with one mom or one dad? Is that wrong? Will you not allow your children to make friends with these children because you fear this particular lifestyle?

I still wish you the best and hope maybe at some point you will open your eyes and realize our families aren’t that different. Our children have loving parents, a roof over their heads and clothes on their backs. Hopefully if our children ever do meet, they will be civil and not judge my children because you were neglectful in mentioning other family dynamics do exist. My children shouldn’t be judged because they have two loving parents of the same sex.

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